Somebody’s Story. Too many Women’s Story.

I've been loved. I've been promised. I've been adored.

I've been flattered. I've been worshiped. I've been honeymooned.

I've been accused. I've been belittled. I've been called a slag, slut, pyscho, cunt and dog ugly....

I've been apologised to. I've been told that jealousy is love. I've been obsessed over. I've been controlled.

I've been manipulated. I've been lied to. I've been sneered at. I've been threatened.

I've been blamed. I've been intimidated. I've been terrified.

I've been silent. I've been vocal. I've been isolated.

I've been slapped. I've been pushed. I've been bitten.

I've been punched. I've been kicked. I've been chocked.

I've been strangled. I've been pinned. I've been pinched.

I've had tangled hair. I've had broken lips. I've had black eyes.

I've had bruised arms. I've had bruised legs. I've had a bruised throat.

I've had injuries where I can't walk properly. I've had bruised buttocks. I've not been able to chew.

I've been told to change cus the bruises show. I've been told I'm good with make up... at covering them up.

I've been knocked out. I've spent hours in hospitals. I've had hair ripped from my head.

I've bled over floors and a carpet. I've cleaned up my own blood. He's tended my wounds.

I've lied and denied to those who love me.

I've run. I've apologised. I've begged. I've taken the blame.

I've pushed his buttons. I've not loved him enough. I've fought back.

I've walked away. I've gone back. I've been scared for my life.

I've been threatened with rape. I've been made to sleep on floors. I've had medication removed.

I've been denied escape. I've been held in a place. I've shaken in a corner.

I've had my possessions broken. I've paid for everything. I've been made to look like the problem.

I've hidden. I've cried. I've considered suicide.

I've minimised. I've normalised. I've compartmentalised.

I've lived in trauma daily. I've pretended I'm happy. I've made those who love me cry with worry.

And I've still put him first.

I've taken the blame. I've thought I could fix it. I've thought it was due to the situation, his own past and pain.

I've promised to not leave. I've been to the police. I've dropped charges. I've gone back.

I've been told by others therefore I must not love him...

The flying monkeys say more...

I've been told it's cus I'm too dominant. I've been told it's cus I don't trust him. I've been told it's cus I need to be quieter.

I've been told that if I just let him have his moments it wouldn't be so bad, so toxic...

This is my journey. One day I may share it.

For now I'm striving. One day I will be thriving. That's my intent.

To breathe. To be free.

To just be me.